In between anger and serenity, we express gratitude on everything we have passed. Going through recurring unpleasant phases of life makes us start contemplating on the causes why life happens that way. No ties are perfect, life is rugged, its path is undulating. Most of us admit that the easiest thing to do is giving up.

People say things, like, life is a struggle, life is a sacrifice, or life is a form of the existence of subconscious mind. Sometimes we are way up top, and the next minute we are down. C’est la vie. Living the life is like playing the piano. We cannot just play the black ones or the white ones. We have to elaborate them to make beautiful melodies. Like living the life, we have to deal with failure in order to get success.

Sometimes we are trapped in the lowest peak, ignoring everything around and start musing. We have done a bunch of hard works and defended self-principles, but then what do we get? Failure. Remember, there is always a time to learn, to work, and to fix.…


I thank God a lot that I am surrounded by many positive and supportive people. When a lot of people are trying to knock me down, I love the fact that God has created angels in the form of human beings. They are my friends. I suddenly remember the time when I needed to fight for something that seemed trivial. The time when everything seemed so easy to get. A lot of people supported me, but some of them were two-faces tho. That was one of the hardest realities that I should accept.

When I was around 8 to 11 years old, I had various kind of friends -- classmates. I was a very passionate student and an active learner. I already planned every single detail in my agenda. I don't know I just like planning and organizing something. I joined a lot of competitions too. I thought it was not because I'm ambitious but because I love fighting and accepting challenges. Studying was my routine and new defiance was very welcomed. I wouldn't ask for a better environment and atmosphere. Unti…

2016: Rewind

One of my favorite lecturers, Prof. Indra Wijaya Kusuma, once asked his students in class "If you could turn back the time, is there anything that you want to re-do and fix?". In the mean time I said to myself "I want to fix all of the mess I have made." That's the answer of a pessimist.

Mr. Indra then said, "When I was a young man like you guys, I wanted to fix all of the decisions I had made. I wish I accepted an offer to work in that sophisticated company, I wish I didn't reject to be a lecturer in a private university whose salary was far higher than salary in this university, I wish I could re-think to make a better life."

Dozens of years had gone by. If somebody asks Mr. Indra again "If you could change something in your life, what would it be?", he will apparently answer "Nothing. I am happy with my past decisions. I never regret all of those failures I had made. Those failures had made me as who I am today. I would never ask…

Two Months of Internship: Career in Banking Industry


The intention of making money started in the beginning of January 2016. I was in my fourth term in my college. I thought it was the busiest, the most hectic, as well as the most meaningful term I’ve ever had. I passed those fluctuated emotional conditions, I held the endurance for a quite long time, I kept all secrets by myself because I was being selfish and didn’t trust anyone for any reason. I was being the most selfish human being a man could be.

It all started when a tantalizing offer came up in my screen. The offer was correlated to my hobby; writing. In brief, I got the offer. I had a part-time job as an English writer in one of travelling websites in my city. It was fascinating for me. Signed to a three months contract to write for about ten essays, I was all ready for the lesson. I know it may seem ridiculous but the sense of earning money after writing those essays is the definition of satisfaction, at that time. As an innocent student, I spent it all away and fe…

The Amazing Ulayya

This post is dedicated to Ulayya Gempur Tirani, as the new PU (Pimpinan Umum) of BPPM Equilibrium.

I know her since Junior High School. In the mean time, what I knew about her was her dedication to study and to be the best at every single subject. Everybody in  school knew that she was a hard-working human being. Many things happened, time passed by, and graduation came faster than I thought. We entered a different school but I still often heard things about her, through my friends. She is so friendly that she has a bundle of friends in every corner of the town.

There comes a time when we meet again in college. Long time no see yet she is still a diligent student. No change. In the beginning year, she already grabbed everybody's attention. She joined almost every activity held in college. Fortunately, I have a lot of chances to be in the same events and/or division with her. Beside her huge dedication to study, she is a person who hates to do nothing. She once told me "Imho, …

An Excuse

So let's get to the point. Let's clarify all of this so-called-dramaqueen.

I have a friend, a close friend, who later becomes one of my best friends. I have known her since the last year of elementary school. Her name is Anggita Retnani. I kind of forgot how I got acquainted with her. A person who then became my classmate in junior high school and apparently became my deskmate. She changed her nickname to Thata since then. I still remember that she and I were sitting in a front row in the class on the first day of junior high school. Day by day was going well. Slowly but sure, I (and everybody in the class) knew that she was having some troubles every single day. When she entered the class, everybody looked at her (of course, look at the clock, 8 o'clock!) with messy hair and sleepless face walking slowly as if there was no more life to live in. Or when she suddenly moved to the corner of the classroom, crying for some reasons that I would never tell anyone. So that the c…

Making Mistakes Is Not A Mistake

I wish I could make more mistakes. I wish I could learn more from thousands mistakes I'd made. If only I was allowed to make more, I'd be more relieved because I should've experienced and noted that life is not that easy. In my humble opinion, making mistakes is not a mistake. Making a mistake is not wholly wrong. We all have to learn how to do something, how to make something work, or how to create something. Some people are indeed geniuses. They don't need a lot of time to understand how a thing works. In a few seconds, they could amaze anyone else by their incredible capability. 
But we have to deal with the condition. I mean, we have to deal with ourselves. We're not that kind of people. We're not a genius. Even though, some of us are geniuses. But look universally. I sometimes regret why I haven't made a billion mistakes in my teen years. I admit that my parents want a perfect life. When I was a kid, I did an exam but I failed at that exam. My parents …